With every Tom, Dick and Harry building their personal ‘brand’ online, a perfectly manicured Instagram account has become this decade’s must-have. Brunch is not brunch until it’s artfully arranged, perfectly lit and shot from above.

I wish I was one of the cool people with a cool Instagram – I just can’t commit. More commonly, the artistically minded will theme or structure their accounts so they’re pixel perfect – I follow someone who seemingly only experiences the world in blue, white and grey. Don’t get me wrong, it looks really good… but I can’t be bothered. On a platform where all images are square it’s now cooler to add white borders to everything. I miss the old days where this just meant two stripes down the sides to avoid cropping a good composition. Arty progress apparently now means plonking your image down anywhere randomly in a sea of white square. Fight the power. I think I’m missing something to be honest.

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